Sunday, November 24, 2013

Memorial for Daisy

Well this year has been different for us.  I guess each year is different than the next - but you have some years that just stand out more than others wouldn't you say?  This has been one of those years.

While I could go into lots of boring details about my life - this post has a more specific purpose.  We had the sad experience of losing another baby.  I was 20 wks 6 days along with a sweet baby girl.  Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be.  There was a cord accident and she passed away before we met her. It really did break my heart.  It's been broken a few times before.  I can't say that it gets any easier - or that healing comes any faster.  I don't think I will ever forget the feelings I had as I watched my sweet boys (12 and 9) carry that tiny casket to the grave.  Seeing my dear husband weep over that same casket after the service - well, sometimes it seems that life is a lot to bear.  (Sigh)

I've been doing my best to focus on all of the wonderful blessings I enjoy in my life.  I truly have a beautiful family and many friends and neighbors who have shown great compassion and kindness.  If you and I are friends on facebook, you might have seen that each day this month I have been posting what I am thankful for.  This was a devastating experience for our family, and while we have had much support and company, there comes a time when the dust settles and you find yourself all alone with your emotions and grief.  Posting what I am thankful for has been one way for me to try to cope and remind myself of the joys life still holds for us to enjoy.

As part of my journey to healing,  I try to memorialize the life that was lost to us in some way.  After our first loss - I put my grief into a lovely quilt that still hangs on my wall.  After the second - I wrote up my first crochet pattern and posted it years ago on this same blog.  For this one - I wanted to post another pattern free to those who would like it.  I worked on this shawl pattern in the spring.  When the shawl was finished, I took it with me to a crochet conference when I was first pregnant.  This shawl was a labor of love.  I truly love the way it turned out, and would like to share it.  I had it labeled as triangle tunisian shawl - but I'm changing the name to The Daisy Shawl.   Daisy was her name.  We truly loved the baby we were waiting to meet.  In rememberance...





The Daisy Shawl

Yarn: 3 skeins cotton-ease
Hook size: 10 US 6.0 mm tunisian hook (will need one with a long cord to accommodate all the stitches)
Gauge:  for body of shawl - 14 stitches 22 rows = 4 inches in tunisian knit stitch
    for border of shawl -14 stitches 16 rows = 4 inches in single crochet

Finished Size:  Before edging is added, shawl measures approximately 21.5 inches from top to bottom at center, the longest point.  From corner to corner along the top it measures approximately 49.25 inches wide.

Special stitches
TSS: (Tunisian simple stitch): This traditional stitch appears at the end of the forward pass of most of the rows in this piece. Traditionally this stitch is worked by inserting your hook into the vertical bar of the next stitch, yarn over, and pulling up a loop.  On the last stitch of the row however - it is recommended to insert the hook under the last 2 vertical bars of the row.  This will give the end of the row a more uniform look to the beginning end of the row.  It is very similar to a TKS.
TKS: (Tunisian knit stitch) Insert hook in next stitch between the two vertical bars and under the horizontal bars, from front to back through the fabric. Yarn over and pull up a loop.
TPS: (Tunisian pearl stitch) Move yarn to front of work, insert hook from right to left, into front vertical bar of next stitch, yarn over and pull up a loop.

Pattern
Foundation Chain: (This shawl is constructed from the bottom up) Chain 3.
Row 1: Forward Pass (Fwd): Pull up a loop in second chain from hook and remaining ch. (3 lps on hook). Return Pass (Rtn): Yo, pull through 1 lp. *Yo, pull through 2 lps. Repeat from * for remainder of row.
Row 2: (Increase 2 stitches on this and each remaining row.) Fwd: Looking at row 1, you will see 3 sets of vertical bars (2 bars per set = 6 vertical bars). Insert hook in between first and second set of vertical bars to back of the fabric, yo, pull up a loop. (Increase made) *Insert hook in between the two bars of the next set to the back of the fabric, yo, and pull up a loop. (Tunisian knit stitch made) Repeat from * one time. Insert hook in between second and third set of vertical bars to back of fabric, yo, and pull up a loop. (Increase made) TSS in last stitch.  (5 loops on hook). Rtn: Same as for row 1.
Row 3: Fwd: Insert hook in between first and second set of vertical bars to back of the fabric, yo, pull up a loop. TKS each stitch until 1 stitch remains. Insert hook in between the last two sets of vertical bars to back of fabric, yo, and pull up a loop. TSS in last stitch.  (7 loops on hook). Rtn: Same as for row 1.

Each remaining row will increase at the beginning and end in this same manner.  From here on, it will be referred to as ‘increase’ only.  Please refer back to the instructions above for the increase if needed.

Row 4-7:  Repeat as for row 3.  (At the end of the forward pass row 4 has 9 lps on hook, row 5 has 11 lps on hook, etc.  Each row increases in this manner by 2.)
Row 8:  Fwd:  Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next  [1] stitch.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({17} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 9-15, repeat as for row 8 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s  as indicated.
Row 9: [3], {19}
Row 10: [5], {21}
Row 11: [7], {23}
Row 12: [9], {25}
Row 13: [11], {27}
Row 14: [13], {29}
Row 15: [15], {31}
Row 16: Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next [1] stitch.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({33} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 17-23, repeat as for row 16 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 17: [3], {35}
Row 18: [5], {37}
Row 19: [7], {39}
Row 20: [9], {41}
Row 21: [11], {43}
Row 22: [13], {45}
Row 23: [15]. {47}
Row 24:  Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next [1] stitch.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({49} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 25-31, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 25: [3], {51}
Row 26: [5], {53}
Row 27: [7], {55}
Row 28: [9], {57}
Row 29: [11]. {59}
Row 30: [13], {61}
Row 31: [15]. {63}
Row 32: Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next [1] stitch.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({65} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.*
For rows 33-39, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 33: [3], {67}
Row 34: [5], {69}
Row 35: [7], {71}
Row 36: [9], {73}
Row 37: [11], {75}
Row 38: [13], {77}
Row 39: [15], {79}
Row 40: Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next [1] stitch.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({81} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 41-47, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 41: [3], {83}
Row 42: [5], {85}
Row 43: [7], {87}
Row 44: [9]. {89}
Row 45: [11], {91}
Row 46: [13], {93}
Row 47: [15], {95}
Row 48:  Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches. TKS in next [1] stitch.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({97} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 49-55, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 49: [3], {99}
Row 50: [5], {101}
Row 51: [7], {103}
Row 52: [9], {105}
Row 53: [11], {107}
Row 54: [13], {109}
Row 55: [15], {111}
Row 56:  Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next [1] stitch. TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({113} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 57-63, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 57:  [3], {115}
Row 58: [5], {117}
Row 59: [7], {119}
Row 60: [9], {121}
Row 61: [11], {123}
Row 62: [13], {125}
Row 63: [15]. {127}
Row 64:  Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next [1] stitch. TPS in next 8 stitches. TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({129} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 65-71, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 65: [3], {131}
Row 66: [5], {133}
Row 67: [7], {135}
Row 68: [9], {137}
Row 69: [11], {139}
Row 70: [13], {141}
Row 71: [15], {143}
Row 72:  Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in next 6 stitches (8 lps on hook).  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches. TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next [1] stitch. TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches. TKS in next 8 stitches. TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 8 stitches.  TPS in next 8 stitches.  TKS in next 6 stitches.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({145} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 73-79, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in []’s and {}’s as indicated.
Row 73: [3], {147}
Row 74: [5], {149}
Row 75: [7], {151}
Row 76: [9], {153}
Row 77: [11], {155}
Row 78: [13], {157}
Row 79: [15], {159}
Row 80:  Fwd: Increase one.  TKS in each stitch until one stitch remains.  Increase one.  TSS in last stitch.  ({161} loops on hook).  Rtn:  Same as for row 1.
*For rows 81-87, repeat as for row 24 substituting the numbers in {}’s as indicated.
Row 81: {163}
Row 82: {165}
Row 83: {167}
Row 84: {169}
Row 85: {171}
Row 86: {173}
Bind off: Pull up a loop as for TKS.  Yarn over and pull through both loops on hook.  Repeat for each stitch on this row until you reach the last stitch.  Pull up a loop as for TSS in last stitch.  Yarn over and pull through both loops on hook.  Fasten off and weave in ends.

Border:
Attach yarn to top right corner.  Working in the back loop only, make a sc in each stitch across top of shawl. (173)  Make 2 more sc in last stitch to turn corner.  Rotate fabric and work a sc in side of each row (86 sc).  Work 3 sc in bottom corner.  Rotate fabric and work a sc in side of each row on other side (86 sc).  Work 2 more sc in top corner where beginning sc was made. Sl st to beginning sc to join.  Ch 1, turn.

Edging:
Row 1:  Work this entire row in the front loops only.  Sc in next sc.  *Sc in next sc.  Ch 4.  Skip next 2 sc.*  Repeat pattern between *’s until reaching the bottom corner.  Sc in first sc of corner 3 sc.  (There should be 29 pattern repeats along the side) Ch 5.  Skip corner sc.  Repeat pattern between *’s until reaching the end.  Sc in next 2 sc.  Ch 1, turn.  (There should be 59 chain spaces on this row, 29 on each side plus the corner space)
Row 2:  Sc in first sc.  Ch 3. *Skip next sc. Sc in next ch space. Chain 4.* Repeat pattern between *‘s until you reach the corner ch space. Sc, ch 7, sc in corner chain space.  Continue on with pattern between *’s until you reach the last ch space.  Sc in last ch space.  Ch 3.  Skip next sc.  Sc in last sc.  Ch 1, turn. (61 ch spaces)
Row 3:  Sc in first sc.  *Sc in ch space.  Ch 4.  Skip next sc.  Sc in next ch space.*  repeat pattern between *‘s until reaching the corner space.  Sc, ch 9, sc in corner space.  Continue on with pattern between *’s until you reach the last ch space.  Sc in last ch space.  Sc in last sc.  Ch 1, turn. (61 ch spaces)
Row 4:  *Ch 2, make 2 dc in next ch sp.  Picot.  Make 2 dc in same ch sp.  Ch 2.  Sl st in next ch sp.*  Repeat pattern between *’s until reaching the corner ch sp.  Ch 2, (make 2 dc in center ch sp.  Picot.) Repeat pattern in ()’s 2 more times.  Make 2 more dc in center ch sp.  Ch 2.  Sl st in next ch space.  Repeat pattern between *’s until end of row.   ending with a sl st in second to last ch sp.  Ch 2.  Make 2 dc in next ch sp.  Pico.  make 2 more dc in same ch sp.  Ch 2.  Sl st in last sc. Ch 1.  Do not turn.
Border along top:   (Once the sc stitches are reached - work this row in the back loops only)  Rotating shawl - work 1 row of sc along the top edge of the shawl.  Fasten off, weave in ends.  

7 comments:

  1. So sorry for you loss Tara. :( I pray you overcome this pain & embrace all the happiness in the future.

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  2. I am so very sorry for your loss Tara. While each of us feel the pain and loss differently, I do understand. We had 9 pregnancies and had 2 living sons. Five were late second trimester losses, one was early and one was an ectopic. I hope you feel the love and hugs I am sending. I pray that you feel the loving and comforting embrace of our Lord. It was and is my faith and family that has helped me get through these difficult times. I look forward to being with my children in eternity and I know that they pray for and watch over their brothers. Cherish each and every moment with your children, as I know you do!

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  3. Oh Taralee. I'm so so sorry. Losing a baby before you even get to meet them is such a heart-wrenching thing.

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  4. Tata - I am so sorry to hear of your loss esp when you were so far along. Having had 2 miscarriages before my 1st child was born I know the pain you and your family are feeling. Think of little Daisy as a tiny angel now resting in God's arms. You are surely in my thoughts and prayers. How wonderful to share you grief in sharing. Thank you for offering you lovely pattern.

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  5. Very sorry for your loss, Tara. If you're familiar the singer Gary Barlow (from Take That), you might know he had a similar experience the year before when they lost their unborn baby girl (her name was Poppy, a flower like yours). Being a creative person like yourself, he also used his art to express his grief. It manifested itself in the opening song of his recent album, Since I Saw You Last, appropriately titled Requiem. What's interesting is that it's told from Poppy's perspective, looking down from Heaven in amazement at all the attention she's getting, even having a giggle over it. It's a bitter-sweet yet ultimately uplifting song. Look it up if you can. It might give you comfort to hear the voice of someone singing something he wrote from the heart about a mutually shared experience.

    Anyway, I wish you and your husband all the best at this difficult time.

    Cheers, Cary

    PS: I just ordered my first Beard Beanie!

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  6. Taralee, what a beautiful way to remember your beloved Daisy. This is truly a lovely shawl. I'm making mine out of a brilliant blue, sequined yarn I bought as a mill end bag at Joann's. Can't wait to see how it turns out. I find I'm thinking of all the loved ones I have lost as I make it. Kind of like a prayer shawl. May God comfort you and give you peace.

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  7. The shawl is beautiful and a wonderful tribute for the loss of your daughter. I know how it feels to lose a child, and any stage of life. It's heart rendering. I hope time will be a soothing balm, although the scars will never heal.

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